There are strong fibers that hold the cloth together, while some threads are more fragile but add a softness and subtlety, or a different feel, to the cloth. Some are subtle and comprised of quieter colours. Some are vivid in tone and immediately attract attention. Rebecca: I often think of a family as being like a piece of fabric, with people being the different threads that are woven together to create the look and feel of the material. How do I know this? Because I had her little book in my pocket and the ribbons wrapped around it made me feel as secure as one of her hugs. She was sent off precisely as she desired. Gem’s funeral was exactly what she would have wanted. Aware of this and on hearing of the book, a number of her friends observed at her funeral that they were going to embark on a similar journey. Gem gifted her children a guide, some insights into how she saw her legacy, and some laughs along the way. It put her views at the forefront of family conversations during a time when grief eclipsed the sheer logistical challenges associated with losing someone terribly important. It tackled things that might have otherwise been quite awkward to discuss.
The book was as personal as it was practical. Some random observations about other funerals she’d attended made their way into the book, including the rather pithy reflection that if any of her family members emulated a chap who spoke for forty minutes and bored even the thriving people in the congregation half to death at one such event, they would be disinherited.
There were lots of differently-inked pens involved in the creation of the book, so it was clearly something she’d been picking up and putting down over months, if not years. She included little sentimental things that may have been overlooked in a more formal document.
She set out specific things she wanted her grandchildren to have. Penny: Before Gem died, she started writing in a little notebook which she rather flippantly (being the forthright matriarch she was) called her ‘death book.’ In it, she mused about various elements of her passing, including her views on dying and exactly what she wanted in terms of a funeral.
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